Way below expectations up high over London at Altitude 360…

image (5) image (6)

I am perky. There’s really no doubt about it. I’m not pulling a Monica here and negating my perkiness by declaring it in the first place. It’s just a fact and I’m fine with that. There are a lot worse things to be labelled and it’s not 24/7 because trust me, first thing in the morning? Not so much with the perky.

Anyway, my point is that I don’t like being negative. I am sometimes. I’m only human. Mushrooms. Dogs in clothing. Kim Kardashian. Things I can’t help but be negative about but generally speaking, I will try and find the positive in most things which is why it’s disappointing to go somewhere new and have a pretty lousy experience overall and sadly, in that category, Altitude 360 is currently up there on the podium, collecting gold.

image (9) steph and alex

I’ll set the scene…uni girls reunion on a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon. Little bit of shopping. Large bit of drinking cider and catching up. Time Out special booked for dinner…burger, fries, salad and cocktail for £14.50 at Altitude 360. Never been there before but sounds like good value, we’re booking for one of the first time slots on the first night of the offer and it’s nice to take someone living outside of London to a place with great views of the city. And great they were. Can’t fault the place for that…sweeping glass windows offer panoramas of twinkly lights as dusk descends over the capital. Unfortunately, fabulous company aside, that was kind of the pinnacle for the evening in this place.

bar 2 girls

Arriving 10 minutes early for a 7.30pm booking, we were informed that the table wasn’t ready and if we’d like to get a drink at the bar, they’d be along shortly to show us to our seats. No problem. I like bars. I like cocktails. I don’t really like waiting for several minutes at a bar that wasn’t packed to the rafters to even be acknowledged. One bartender was busy, several others were busy looking busy.

The cocktails when they arrived were good and it was lovely drinking them whilst picking out the Eye, Big Ben and the Shard across the skyline. Sadly, a cocktail in the hands of a thirsty lady will only last so long and in this case, the drink was taken care of long before we were. Waiting for 30 minutes whilst a confused looking hostess seemed to be completely lacking in ideas as to why we were there or where to put us isn’t a great start to the meal. Being a party of three who were ushered to a table set for two and who had to sit there whilst the third place setting was swiftly taken from a neighbouring table and laid in front of us? Not. Cool. At. All. Sadly we were not even sat by a window so not even a spectacular view could distract from the shoddy service.

The food itself was mediocre at best and if you didn’t have a special deal, it wore a fairly hefty price tag around it’s neck. I plumped for the pulled pork burger expecting sweet BBQ sauce covered succulence. Nope. Dry and lukewarm at best. I was hoping for fresh, hot, chunky, tripled cooked chips. Nope. They were a helping of the saddest school canteen chips I’ve seen for a long time. Honestly, I felt a bit sorry for this burger because it certainly hadn’t earnt the name it frankly deserved to be stripped of. It was eaten because I was hungry not, I’m afraid, out of any sense of real enjoyment.

burger 2 cocktail 2

Thankfully the vouchers had been handed over when we ordered so we were gone long before the disappointment from this experience was. I was glad I went there with the kind of girlfriends who always make any catch up worthwhile but I sadly couldn’t recommend anyone to go here. Awesome views are all well and good but as there are now many places in London to catch one of these, you really need to be able to walk the talk as well and this place proved dismally inadequate at doing either.


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